PhaseWare Phriday Phollies: ROFL At These Customer Service Stories


Here are some stories I found on We Build Your Blog. It’s unbelievable what can come up when you are on the phones. Really, truth can be stranger than fiction in customer support:

Samsung Electronics

Caller:             ‘Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?’

Operator:      ‘I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about.’

Caller:             ‘On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and Telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the Number for Jack?’

Operator:      ‘I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.’


RAC Motoring Services


Caller:             ‘Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?’

Operator:      ‘Does the product name give you a clue?’


Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in Europe)

‘If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?’


Directory Enquiries


Caller:             ‘I’d like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please’

Operator:      ‘I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?’

Caller:             ‘Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the ‘B’ fell off.’


Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator:      ‘Woven? Are you sure?’

Caller:             ‘Yes. That’s what it says on the label — Woven in Scotland’


Tech Support

Tech Support:            ‘I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.’

Customer:                    ‘OK.’

Tech Support:            ‘Did you get a pop-up menu?’

Customer:                    ‘No.’

Tech Support:            ‘OK . Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?’

Customer:                    ‘No.’

Tech Support:            ‘OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this Point?’

Customer:                    ‘Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.’


Tech Support:            ‘OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?’

Customer:                    ‘Wow! How can you see my screen from there?’


Caller:                            ‘I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?’


This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired.

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:

Operator:        ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?’

Caller:               ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.’

Operator:        ‘What sort of trouble?’

Caller:               ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.’

Operator:        ‘Went away?’

Caller:               ‘They disappeared’

Operator:        ‘Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?’

Caller:               ‘Nothing.’

Operator:        ‘Nothing?’

Caller:               ‘It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’

Operator:        ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?’

Caller:               ‘How do I tell?’

Operator:        ‘Can you see the ‘C: prompt’ on the screen?’

Caller:               ‘What’s a sea-prompt?’

Operator:        ‘Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’

Caller:               ‘There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.’

Operator:        ‘Does your monitor have a power indicator??’

Caller:               ‘What’s a monitor?’

Operator:        ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?’

Caller:               ‘I don’t know.’

Operator:        ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?’

Caller:               ‘Yes, I think so.’

Operator:        ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.’

Caller:               ‘Yes, it is.’

Operator:        ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? ‘

Caller:               ‘No.’

Operator:        ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.’

Caller:               ‘Okay, here it is.’

Operator:        ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.’

Caller:               ‘I can’t reach.’

Operator:        ‘OK. Well, can you see if it is?’

Caller:               ‘No.’

Operator:        ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?’

Caller:               ‘Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle – it’s because it’s dark.’

Operator:        ‘Dark?’

Caller:               ‘Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.’

Operator:        ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’

Caller:               ‘I can’t.’

Operator:        ‘No? Why not?’

Caller:               ‘Because there’s a power failure.’

Operator:        ‘A power … A power failure? Aha. Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?’

Caller:               ‘Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.’

Operator:        ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.’

Caller:               ‘Really? Is it that bad?’

Operator:        ‘Yes, I’m afraid it is.’

Caller:               ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?’

Operator:        ‘Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer!’


Have a Happy and Safe Labor Day!


Scroll to Top